I figured since it is Mother’s Day, I would give people a glimpse into my life as a mom living with a disability. So, here goes:
It has its moments. Ask my kids, ask my husband. My brain works overtime, every day, all week. I know everyone’s brain takes in tons of information every day. Those of us with a brain disability, our brains work hard to comprehend everything thrown at us. Slight changes in schedule can throw us off, make us moody. All that information, those changes, they make us tired. Very tired. I require lots of sleep every night. I need at least 10 hours to not be cranky. It doesn’t happen often, because I am a wife, a mother, and I work full time. There are things to be done. So throw in all the information being taken in every day, changes in schedules, and not enough sleep, and you have a cranky mom. I have learned some tips and tricks to not be as cranky. I try to get to bed earlier. TRY. Doesn’t happen often. I try to exercise every other day, either running or a strength work out. The work out gives me an adrenaline boost, which makes me less cranky, and more apt to handle life. I try to stick to a routine Mondays through Fridays, and I find that helps my children and me get through the week with less temper tantrums, usually mine. Clutter is a constant in my house, and I get overwhelmed very easily when I think about cleaning my house and putting things away. When I get overwhelmed, my brain shuts down, and nothing gets accomplished. This can be frustrating for my husband when I shut down, and the mess is left to him and the kids to clean. I have a limited filter when I speak, so many times I will say things before thinking them through, and end up embarrassing my 2 boys.
There are a few advantages, I think, of being a mom with a brain disability. I have dysmaturity, and am very silly and can really get into building forts and rocket ships and enjoy a good game of hide and go seek and leap frog. I enjoy the novels my 10 year old reads, and we will often read them out loud at night, and honestly look forward to reading the following night to find out what happens (Yes, at 42). I am also the grown ass woman who will be sitting around the dinner table and throw a piece of broccoli at my child because, well, why not? Or at the mall shoe store, see a sneaker on display and tap down on it to make it fling across the aisle (This does not happen often, just when my impulsivity gets the best of me). I enjoy being a mom and being young like them. I feel like I connect better to my children because of my dysmature brain, when it comes to fun and family time.
Are there days when I wish my brain was not neuro-divergent the way it is? Of course. I wish I wasn’t always exhausted at the end of a work day, I wish I could partake in conversations with my 14 year old and my husband over politics and understand what I was talking about. I wish I did have more restraint before blurting out embarrassing words, such as, “Did you fart, Nicolas?” In front of his friends. I realize though, that every single parent out there has things they wish they did better, things they wish weren’t a part of who they were. None of us are perfect. We each try our best every day, and come through for our families and kids the best we know how. We are all works in progress, and I am happy with who I am, and who I am becoming as a mom.